| > | | | | happen so often? Simple, you didn't forget their name - |
| | | | you never really heard it in the first place! You still had |
| The human mind is an innovative hybrid that allows us | | | | yourself in the middle of the picture. |
| to anticipate the future - to think big thoughts. That's | | | | Most people do not listen with the intent to understand |
| the good news. | | | | - they listen with the intent to reply or impress. This is |
| However, a growing number of psychologists and | | | | never successful because the mind does not have |
| behavioral scientists are finding evidence that our | | | | simultaneous capability. Therefore, if you are |
| brains are hard-wired for mistakes in today social | | | | contemplating your next statement, you are not |
| environment, especially when it comes to assessing | | | | focusing on his words, tones and actions. |
| the personality and predicting behavior of people we | | | | In order to read a person like a book, you must get |
| encounter. | | | | them to open up, get them talking. Getting people to |
| Why are we so bad at reading the intentions of | | | | open up is a skill that you can learn. |
| others? Built on top of the older "emotional" parts of | | | | A skilled conversationalist uses specific question in |
| our mammalian circuitry, there is a "rational" cerebral | | | | three different categories. (1) Conversation starters. (2) |
| cortex. The two are often at odds, and under the | | | | Personal questions. (3) Philosophical questions. Once |
| surface, our protective instincts are always lurking. | | | | you've mastered a small inventory of optional |
| Unfortunately the "emotional" circuitry frequently | | | | questions you can switch categories to control the |
| overwhelms the "rational" cortex. When we encounter | | | | outcome. |
| people we simply give more weight to elements in their | | | | QUESTIONS ARE THE KEY TO KNOWLEDGE and |
| personalities that support our beloved preconceptions | | | | source of power. He who does not ask the right |
| than to any evidence to the contrary. Thus we | | | | questions always hears the wrong answers. An |
| frequently completely miss the target and pay a price | | | | unclear question has an infinite number of answers. |
| of our misjudgments. | | | | Many say that information is the path to power. The |
| ARBITARY OBSESSIONS The frontal lobes have | | | | wealthiest people will tell you that it's their ability to |
| fallen in love with our preconceptions. This hard-wired | | | | make wise choices in dealing with people is their |
| programming undercuts us in a host of sadly familiar | | | | greatest asset. And that when they did make |
| ways. The most common is the way our | | | | mistakes, it was often disastrous for them socially and |
| preconceptions and prejudices distort our perception | | | | financially. |
| of individuals we wish to assess. | | | | The requirements for publishing this article are: |
| CONFIRMATION BIAS This is our all too natural ability | | | | - You May Not change the content of the article, |
| to convince ourselves of whatever it is that we want | | | | except for minor corrections for layout, typos or |
| to believe. How? We simply give more weight to | | | | grammar. |
| events that support our desired prejudice or | | | | - You May Not use this article in UCE (Unsolicited |
| preconception than to any evidence to the contrary. | | | | Commercial Email). Email distribution of this article |
| PREPERATION MUST PRECEED OPPORTUNITY | | | | MUST be opt-in email only. |
| Consider how many great opportunities are lost by | | | | - If you post this article on a website, you MUST set |
| what I call "semantic sabotage". If you've ever found | | | | any URL's or email addresses in the body of the article |
| yourself stumbling over your words, or simply not | | | | or in the Author's Resource Box as hyperlinks |
| knowing what to say next you've experienced "the | | | | (clickable links). |
| dialog dilemma." Also if you've uttered a statement, | | | | - Please, if possible, forward a copy of the ezine or |
| then realized that it wasn't exactly what you meant to | | | | newsletter in which you published the article, or if on a |
| say. These are all curable maladies. | | | | webpage, the link to the article, to the author. |
| I 'LL BET YOUR'VE NEVER HAD THIS | | | | - This article is submitted as a service by |
| EXPERIENCE... Someone introduces themselves to | | | | Content is solely the property and opinion of the |
| you. Then you tell them your name. Suddenly you | | | | author. |
| realize you can not recall their name. Why does this | | | | |